Overcoming Guilt

Guilt is a feeling and it has a negative impact on an individual. Others around us right from the time we were born have a great impact over you. Especially if you have done something that has resulted in a big problem for others or had a negative impact can make  you feel responsible and live with the feeling of guilt. It is mainly self imposed and many times its what others say - "you are the one responsible for all that has happened.". It confines you and keeps you tied to the incident and leads you to depression and isolated living with fear of recurrence.

What is guilt?

According to dictionary, guilt is a feeling of having committed wrong or failed in an obligation;

• Its a feeling, having an effect on the emotion and affects the thoughts, reactions and decisions made by any person. 
• Its based on what has been spoken about you by people who you valued much or were holding position above you. 
• Its the effect of judgmental attitude and statements spoken about you by other which were so hurtful and derogatory that it put you down and brought shame, embarrassment and finally resulting in  you feeling guilty.  

• Poor self esteem, lack of self respect and broken self image
• Getting away from people and shutting  yourself alone
• Always thinking what others will think before taking decisions or doing any work
• Taking decisions based on what others have told you can do or not do.
• Feeling hurt inside of you.

Guilt keeps you tied and bound. Its going to walk where ever you go and be where you are. You are never going to be away from it. And the more you relive it the more raw they are in your mind even though they may have been spoken years or decades before.in the past. It confines you and keeps you within a boundary. You don't feel free to take risk and do what ever you want because over the years you don't even think beyond the boundary set by your feeling of guilt. 

Over the years the incident which you did or the event that hurt you and put the feeling of guilt over you convinces you that you are wrong. Its not good and its like a cancer that spreads to others areas of function in your life and cripples your actions. It confines you to a boundary set by you based on the hurt caused by guilt and keeps you there as you are now fearful of venturing out as you think you cannot do it and you don't want to hurt others. This over the years takes the control of defining you and destroying the true nature and desires and ambitions that were in you. It destroys  the artist and the dreamer in you. It keeps you confined in a dark place where no one will be able to reach  and over years it becomes hard and strong. 

1. First you have to feel the need to come out. No one other than you can walk you out of guilt
2. Its a choice to let go of what had happened
3. Every one does wrong and no matter what you have done it can be excused
4. No matter how grave it is what you have done its not going to be redone by you feeling guilty.
5. Its you who has confined yourself to guilt. YOU are responsible for the feeling of guilty
6. YOU are powerful to break the chains of guilt and walk out free
7. Let go of all the guilt incidents and the sequences of incidents that have put guilt over you
8. Let them go and don't hold them close to you with self accusation
9. Don't let others confine you again
10. When the thoughts rush back to the past just overcome it saying that you cannot redo it by feeling guilty. 
11. Take steps to try and venture into new areas in life with out fear and thoughts of hurting people
12. Just because something happened once does not mean it will ALWAYS happen
13. Be careful not to repeat the same mistake but don't stop trying doing it again
14. You are powerful and You have the capacity to change your thought and overcome the negative feelings and emotions 
15. Decide.... take steps...... keep trying and trying........ sooner than you imagined you will be free from the confinement of guilt.

• You can do it 
• You are the only one who can do it
• You can choose and do it 
• You are capable of walking into 
• You are powerful to live in

Overcoming hurt

All human beings are emotional beings. Humans are not machines. This sets us apart. I recently read where they have invented a robot with emotions. But emotions are a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. These feeling can be good and bad. The feelings have a great impact over how we react, what we do and what decisions we make. Emotional decisions are many times taken without thinking rationally and is taken over a quick span of time. While experiencing emotions people feel they are out of control and react without thinking and spontaneously. But emotions can be tamed and brought under control. 

Hurt cause pain or injury to. Physical hurt is taken care by medicines. But emotional hurt is mostly handled alone, is ignored and kept suppressed. When you don't know how to handle it you end up with

• |Loneliness
• Being depressed
• Hurting self
• Ignoring self 
• Getting stressed 
• Self Pity
• Reliving the instance
• Justifying yourself

But nobody can get hurt without control. The truth is you get hurt when you allow it. You get hurt when you value what the other person has said. And  when you relive it in the place of loneliness later you allow yourself to be hurt again. The  more you think and live  in that place with self pity you are allowing yourself to be hurt and you keep the wound raw. 

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to live in hurt and take the comfort of self pity or move on ignoring what others have said or done to you by looking forward to the future with a positive attitude. Life does not end by anyone hurting you. You are more powerful in deciding the way your life should go. You can choose to be happy and over come the negative emotions and all that is pulling you down into discouragement and depression. You can spring back with confidence and change the whole atmosphere around you.

The fact is the only person on this whole earth you are capable of changing is YOU. You can never change other people the way they behave and talk. So learn the truth and never waste your time and energy to change the other person. One person or the other may hurt you in any way. So learn to take care of your emotions and learn how to spring back to positive attitude in no time. The more you become trained in this will help you to over come all the hurt and help you live  your life free from the chains that keep you bound to the past. But the positive  attitude in you will open new doors in all times and help you to move on and lead a life of joy ignoring the hurt people have caused you.

Your Life is the reflection of your choices

In the previous blogs we saw the need to

• Examine our Belief system
• Examine our Thought pattern
• Examine our Attitude
• Examine the role of Feelings in all we do

We saw how these four aspects are very important and how they influence and have power over all that we do and decide. They are formed from the childhood days and over the years have formed into behavior pattern and have affect all our actions. 

So these things may seem to be of no worth to you. It might be something you never ever paid attention to or even thought is necessary. But they are all very important and they are all inter related. 

• They affect every area of your life. 
• They are  things concerning you.
• They affect the people who are around you.
• They affect the environment in  which you are. 
• They affect your work environment
• They play a major role in the way you relate to family. 
• These aspects are so crucial that they affect the outcome of whatever you do.

It may be small and insignificant now. But taking control of your thoughts has a series of effect like a domino as it affects your feeling and attitude which decides how you act and how your behavior is. These aspects form your personality which will decide how your life is going to be. You are where you are because of your choices which were based on your thoughts, attitudes and perception. Do not be dominated by them but in turn take control for you are capable of bringing the desired change in your life. 

So as discussed above the only person capable of bringing a change in your life is YOU. The place in life where you are is because of the choices you had made. 

• How is your life right now? 
• Are you happy in the way its going presently? 
• Do you want a change?
• What change do you want?
• Do you know how to bring the change?
• What are your fears?

By spending a few hours examining yourself and answering the questions you can get a clear picture of how things are and what needs to be done. Never forget you can do it, you are capable of it, you are the ONLY ONE WHO CAN BRING THE DESIRED CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE. So never give up. Spend time to know more about you and the areas that need to change. Take one step a time and take day by day action. YOU CAN DO IT.......... and make your life take a turn for the best and enjoy a joyful life with contentment. 

YOU CAN CHANGE!!!!

In the previous blog we saw the necessity of reviewing our life to take control and bring in a positive change in the way of leading life.

• Examining the belief system
• Examining the thought pattern
• Examining the attitudes and perceptions
• Examining the negative feelings that are controlling us. 

The above mentioned ones are very important as they influence our actions and behaviors

ACTIONS

They are the things you do, act and react to a situation or person every moment of your life. Lot of times they are done spontaneously without a second thought. We wonder how we did it and many times don't even pay attention to why we did what we did?  After examining the above said belief system, thought system, attitude and feelings you will find that these four have a major role to play in the way you act.

• Actions are not spontaneous
• They are the result of what is going on in your mind right now / these days
• They are the result of what you believe in. These believes are formed right from childhood days.
• The attitude what you have in you will be made known in the way you act. You don't contradict yourself unless you take conscious steps to overcome the attitudes you want to change. These attitudes are also the result of years of experience you have gone through and what you have understood and told yourself about.
• Feelings are powerful and when you are happy you will act in a particular way and when you are sad you cannot do the same in the same way. They affect you drastically and also influence the outcome of the work that you do. 

BEHAVIOR

As always said again and again all things are related. When you decide to change one thing you need to see the things that trigger them or are linked with them. 

Behavior is the range of actions and mannerisms made by individuals in conjunction with themselves or their environment. It is the response to various stimuli or inputs. 

• Behavior is not permanent
• Behavior can be changed
• You can control the way you behave
• You can decide how you are going to behave in adv

Words, attitudes, believes and behavior forms the foundation on which your life is based on. They decide the way your day is going to go. You are capable and able to control them and change them if you keep trying without giving up. So keep trying till you succeed. 

YOU CAN CHANGE AND CAN ENJOY LIFE TO ITS FULLEST.

BEING POSITIVE IS BEING POWERFUL

Have you wondered why some people are able to succeed as be happy. The lifestyle and just the air around them is always in high spirit and they attract people towards them like a magnet. You look at them and wonder what is the magic they have and end up with  the conclusion Luck is in their side.

But you can bring charm to your life and change the situation to become a most sought out person by taking few steps towards changing the mind, thoughts and eventually the results in your life. Know that you are a being not spending you day as pre programmed robots. You have the power to turn  your life in the direction you want. It may not always be the easy way around but if you are determined as a human being you have the ability to achieve what you want. So program your thoughts and start the journey towards a place of fulfillment, joy, achievement and enjoy success in life.

So these days in internet we have billions of tips to help us. We can go through them and find that they are the simple things that are mentioned there. SIMPLE CHANGE bring in a MASSIVE SUCCESS. Do not  despise the small things. Its this small things that will bring the success that you are longing for.

STEP 1


1. EXAMINE YOUR BELIEFS : Whether it may  be religious or general you beliefs affect you. What you believe you will go through without even trying to  change or oppose. For example if you think YOU ARE NOT CREATIVE you will never even try to do creative things. That whole area of creativity will be something you will long for and yearn for but will not even try to do because based on your belief  you are not creative. Believes are very important. Spend time to think the negative believes you have and take the risk to try in those areas. YOU WILL BE SURPRISED TO SEE THE HIDDEN TALENTS IN YOU. 

2. EXAMINE YOUR THOUGHTS : There may be a thousands of reasons why things are happening the way they are in your life. It can be because of other people or any reason for that. But know that you cannot change a single person in  your life. The only person you have the power to change is YOU. So divert all your energy and strength today toward you for the better result. You are the only one in absolute power to take care of your thoughts. Your thoughts are the small steps that are laying the base for your attitude and your belief. They are the primary thing that controls all areas of your life - job, family, health, future ... everything. Its very powerful and you are the only one more powerful than your own thoughts. Take an inventory of how your thought life is. Remove all negativity and replace them with positive ones filled with hope. When you have learnt to control your thoughts you have control over your own life. 

3. CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE :  If you have been reading this blog by now you will be knowing the importance of your attitude. Its not something that is formed on its own and has taken its place in you. Its something that can be controlled, changed and it has the power to turn the direction in which your life is going now. Its equal to the steering wheel in your car and the SOLE PERSON IN CONTROL IS YOU. You are more powerful than you think. Positive attitude send a positive vibe around you and attracts all the positive things and negative attitude is the cause of pain and all the negative things that you are experiencing right now. A person with a positive attitude can turn the very negative nature of an issue or situation to a better place giving awesome results using his positive thinking that brings out new ideas and creativity  out of the attitude of hope that is impended in the positive attitude he has. 

4. EXAMINE YOUR FEELINGS : Feelings are equally powerful  controlling you everyday. They not only influence but also determine the course of your action. If you feel irritated its going to show in the way you are going to relate. If you feel sad that is the end of joy in your life. If you feel confused you not going to even try out anything. But in the contrary if you feel happy you are going to go around spreading joy. If you feel confident you are going to take risk. If you feel calm you are going to find a way out of something that seems impossible. So you become a puppet and you are connected to your feelings that control you. Unless you master the art of taking control of your  feelings you will be dancing around as your feelings pull you. You are helpless and out of control. But FEELINGS CAN BE CHANGED BY SERIES OF THOUGHTS. Stop negative thoughts and think positively it will change your feelings in no matter of time.

So today DECIDE, TRY AND KEEP TRYING TO  

1. CHANGE YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEVES
2. TAKE CONTROL OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
3. DEVELOP POSITIVE ATTITUDE 
4. TAKE CONTROL OF FEELINGS AND REPLACE NEGATIVE FEELINGS WITH POSITIVE ONES.

The formation of SELF

Have you wondered who you are. As a person you may be doing a working or studying; you could be a male or female and would think that is you.
When some one asks to describe you ; you say

• I am a man working as a software Engineer
• I am a girl studying in 8th grade
• I am a women and i am fashion Designer

All human beings are made up of personality and that too at times define who you are

• I am a stubborn person
• I am very kind 
• He is very stingy
• He is very analytical

Man as a human being is created based on the series of thoughts layered in his mind forming the perception and attitude of himself, others and situations. 

• Men are always like that
• Women always are beauty cautious
• Kids are innocent
• I cannot do this work
• I am not good at it
• I can do this work in no time
• I can handle this
• This work is not for me

So its like the process of training a elephant. Elephant is a huge animal with enormous power to turn things upside down. But it is also tamed and once its tamed it loses the power and ferociousness and becomes domesticated.  It is no longer a threat. 

It moves around with the same physical appearance but inside its totally changed. Its no more the elephant it was created to be. How is such a huge thing possible. When the elephant is small the training starts. Its tied to a pole stronger than him and let there. He tries and tries to move it and pull it down.

But all the attempts fail. It ties everyday and fails. Because of this failed attempts over the years it comes to a conclusion that it cannot escape when it is tied to a pole and stand there. Over the period of time it looses its originality and becomes tamed. The real power and wild nature takes a dormant place.

In the same manner your personality and the I Can and I Cannot perspective would have formed based on what people have repeatedly spoken over and about you. Your real abilities may lie dormant for a long time and many are not even know to you unless some incident stirs it out.

So take the initiative today

1. Never say I cannot do or talk or anything before trying it.
2. Start taking risk. 
3. Have an attitude of trying and never quit. Over a period you will become an expert. 
4. All human beings are born with almost the qualities and abilities. It just those who make the best use of what they have and tried to take risk have succeeded in life. 
5. Always know success is not going to fall into your lap. You have to keep trying with a positive attitude and sure success is at arm's reach. 

Have a great day. 

You can succeed if you want to

To  many it may seem a normal morning and its the course of nature. How are you starting the day. Is it just a day dawning or are you waking up with purpose. There much more to the start of the day than you think.

Thinks to ponder

In a race the start is very important especially when its going to be a 100 mt race.

So when you start the day start the day like a person starting the day to end it with a winning stroke. It starts with the way you keep feeding your mind and keep expecting positive things to come across your way through out the day. At the same time be prepared to turn the negative and bad situations that cross your path as you as a  human being have full control over what you think and decide and you can and CAN do whatever it takes to make your day have the flavor of positivism. NEVER GIVE UP YOU ARE MEANT TO WIN. 




The next one is the hare and tortoise race that you have heard as a child. It carries a great truth and a load of encouragement for you. Its not what people think. It may be true too. But if you don't let it get into you and feel discouraged enough to let it go.... THERE IS ALWAYS CHANCES FOR YOU TO WIN AND SUCCEED. So in the morning make up your mind to be watchful and keep running your course without letting anything to bother you or weigh you down or get distracted from the line of victory which is always within your reach.

 ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO. 

Have a great day ahead.